Ahh, spring has sprung! Well… more like Cowtown skipped over spring and went straight to summer. Having reached adulthood two-year-old beavers will have probably already left their homes in search of mates.
Let’s talk beavers.
Ahh, so much effort and time put into taming those wild forests of thick bushy curls and grooming our furry critters! Or just clear cutting them. Interestingly enough, even though you might expect our hairier primate relatives to have more hair everywhere, they do not have pubic hair. In fact, adult primates often have less hair in their pubic regions, the fur there being both shorter and more fine. So why have humans evolved pubic hair? Many say that it protects genitalia. Makes sense. Also boring. A much cooler theory is that pubic hair is meant to be a visual indicator of sexual maturity, which also explains why even people with blonde straight hair have dark curly bushels growing out of their groins. Easier to spot. Well… against light coloured skin anyways. I wonder why white skin evolved? I could probably find papers on that… MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS IN THIS BLOG POST. I would speculate that because pubic hair collects sweat and harbours bacteria it would result in a smell potentially attracting mates. Women find the sweat of men less genetically related to them more attractive. Maybe pube sweat works the same way… Yum.
This then brings up the question of why clean-shaving among women has become so popular lately. Even though youth is desirable and attractive, being fully bare is a characteristic of prepubescence and total lack of fertility… which should not be sexually arousing biologically speaking. I wonder why it’s so trendy nowadays?
AHHH! IT’S ALIIIVEE!!
Can we also talk about how vaginas are often described as things to do with animals/critters/living things. Beaver, bearded clam, camel toe, tuna town, snake pit, moose knuckle, small aquatic animal (really?), penis fly trap, red snapper, one eyed one horned flying purple penis eater (also, really?), pike purse, moist monkey mauler, carp carnival, fish farm, tuna melt, rabbit hole, snake ranch. I can’t even think of a situation in which you can casually call a vagina a penis fly trap. How do you even work that into a conversation? My personal favourite is fetus factory.
Poor Skywalker. Kisses his sister, almost gets eaten by a vagina monster, father is Vader. So many issues, so much trauma.
Did you know that pubic hair grooming injures increased by 247 injuries from 2002 to 2010 for a total of 2500 injuries a year? Not surprisingly the most common being laceration in women. Ouch.
And because I always like to leave our readers with some fun suggestions, here are some spunky designs you can try out on your own. It’s like creative hedge trimming. Get all british with it.
I have my eye on the final frontier one. Obviously.
Your pubic hair is your canvas!
Pixie
Images:
http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/beaver/
Sources:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/06/pubic-hair-grooming-injuries_n_2632907.html
Sex & Sensibility 
White skin evolved to help synthesize vitamin D in northern climates, where there’s less risk of sunburn. I’ve never heard most of those euphemisms for vagina, even when trying to list as many as possible. You did miss the easiest one: Pussy.