You know what they say about men with big shoes? They’ve got big feet of course! And what do they say about men with big feet? Well, that’s a topic for another blog post. ‘Cause today I’m asking what they say about men who wear elf shoes.
As far as I’m aware, it does not mean they have an elf… or that they are an elf. Although I wouldn’t mind this elf 😉
Those shoes are actually called poulaines and in the middle ages, the length of the point on a man’s shoe was supposed to correlate to size of his, ahem, pointy appendage. Ah, I guess we’re not shy here at Sex & Sensibility. So yes, the longer the tip, supposedly, the longer the wearer’s penis. (I don’t think there was a pointy tip correlation…). Makes me wonder what these guys are trying to say 😉
(But seriously, go look up Mexican pointy boots for more ridiculous shoes!) Of course, nature provides its own example of feet as a means of attracting a mate: the Blue-footed Booby (yes, you may have a giggle at the name 😉 ).
Instead of longer points, these birds (both male and female) prefer brighter blue feet, and often show their feet off in mating rituals. Perhaps they were the inspiration for these shoes?
Moving on, and up… it’s a common story that girls have stuffed their bras to emphasize their breasts. Guess what? Guys did it first. Another fun fashion statement in the middle ages was the codpiece. No, not a bra for men. This was an accessory that aimed to make a man look very well-endowed, or even just erect! Medieval men accomplished this by stuffing a pouch with cloth or sawdust and attaching it to genital area of their pants. Like this:
Can you imagine if these were still in fashion? Actually, I found this argument for bringing them back. I suppose this could also help men understand what if feels like to interact with someone whose eyes are aimed a little lower than they should be 😉 So here’s one you can buy. And if not, you could always get some pointy shoes.
Alas, it is getting late, so I must fare thee well for now good ladies and knights!
Pepper ❤
Sex & Sensibility 